Don't Jump!
by Reez Neuberger
Summary: What happens when Ron jumps down a hole, find out. Well the first chapter's not funny......but it gets funnier.
1. Prologue

Oh, yeah, I don't own any characters.

Prolouge

In a modern apartment in downtown London a young couple was snogging. The woman pulled away and started to make a pot of coffee in the living room. Her wedding ring glinted in the morning sun and she wore a giant smile on her face. The man was about to pick up the Daily Prophet when some one knocked on the door.

"Let me in. I know you're in there" a voice called.

The man opened the door to reveal another man with ginger hair, he looked tired and his face was worn. It seemed he had seen to many things in his life that none of us are meant to see.

"Hello Harry," he said, "Hey Ginny, how are you guys this morning?"

"Ron what are you doing here?" asked Ginny, "Don't you have a job? Come on you need to get to the Ministry. Harry I think we have some floo powder in the closet, would you grab it. Ron you'll have to use floo powder, you're in no state to apparate.

"Ginny," Ron started.

"No, don't you argue with me" said Ginny, "Or I'll tell mum we had to send you to work today.

"Gosh Harry, how can you put up with her?" Ron asked as Harry entered the room with a pot of green dust.

"Ron, you need to get to work, but first," Harry trailed off.

"First" Ginny picked up for him, "Tell us why you're really here."

"I'm just…just, I'm just feeling sad again. That's all." Ron hung his head.

"Ron it's been over two months, I think you need to move on." Harry said gently.

"Don't you preach to me about moving on" snarled Ron, "You've got the girl of your dreams here, so don't tell me to forget mine."

Ron suddenly was lost in thought as he remembered that horrible night.

-x Flashback x-

"_Harry, hit him in the chest" Hermione yelled. _

_A spell raced towards Harry's head and he ducked just in time. Voldemort was weakening. Harry shot one last spell at him, as he shot his last at Harry. The spell hit Voldemort square in the chest and the evil wizard fell. Harry ducked Voldemort's spell and leapt in joy._

"_NOOOOOOO" Ron screamed as Hermione hit the ground._

"_She's gone, dead" Ron said willing himself not to cry, "That last spell, hit her, now she's gone, gone, forever, Hermione." Ron looked at her face and heard a soft voice, barly audible. Ron rushed over to Hermione,falling to his knees. He lifted her frale body onto his lap hold her head up. "No, Hermione...you have to stay with us..." He said desprately. He couldn't loose her, not now, not when his brother had just died in the battle, along with his owl, and his dad in the hospital very badly wounded._

_"Ron...it's ok." Hermione said, a trickle of blood ran down the side of her face from a cut lip. Ron hurredly wiped it away._

_"No, Hermione, we can get you to 'Mungos! You still have time!" Said Ron. Hermione shook her head slowly._

_"No, Ron, it's time, I'm not scared." She said her voice becoming softer by the second. Ron shook his head stubornly. "Oh, Ron..." she laughed slightly, then closed her eyes, Ron's eyes widened._

_"Hermione, don't go yet." She opened her eyes,"Hermione, I wont let you go." Ron felt a tear trickle down his cheek._

_"No, Ron I'm going, don't worry, I'll still be with you."_

_"No, no, no..." he whispered. "I wont be able to live without you! Hermione, I love you." She smiled._

_"I love you too, Ron" she closed her eyes and Ron leaned down and kissed her softly on her cold lips. He watched her breath her last breaths, relizing now, it was too late. _

_Her lifeless body still held the smile. Ron was sobbing uncontrollably, and he would never fully heal from this. Hermione had died._

-x End Flashback x-

When Ron snapped out of his reverie he was sobbing. Ginny tried to give him a cup of coffee but he wouldn't take it. Harry was scrawling a letter to the ministry explaining that Ron would not be able to attend work that day.


	2. Day 1

Note-DO NOT OWN HP SIERIES  
Note2-RE-DONE

Day 1

"I just can't go on," Ron proclaimed, "She was the love of my life, and I just can't live without her!"

"Ron," Ginny tried to reason with him, "You can't wallow in self pity forever! One day you'll have to accept her death and move on. Now don't give me that look," she said as a swell of sadness swept Ron's face, "I'm telling you this for your own good!"

Ron shrugged off his sister's advice and started to stalk off, but Harry stopped him.

"Ginny's right you know" he said.

"Oh, shove off," Ron yelled, "You still have the love of your life, so don't try to preach to me about living without mine!"

Ron ran off, yelling something about never returning and some dark deep something.

"I'll go after him." Harry said and gave Ginny a light kiss before he left, with a feeling of foreboding growing inside of him. In fact he couldn't help but feel as if it would be a long time before he would see his wife again.

Harry ran after Ron.

"Ron!" he shouted, "RON!" and raced around a corner, through some muggle's front yard and past a dog that looked strangely wolfish. When he finally caught up with Ron he was panting and out of breath, with sweat dripping down his face.

"Ron," he said, "What in the world were you thinking? "

"It's not worth it Harry," Ron stated with color of sorrow in his voice, "This life, it's just not worth it, not without Mione."

"So," Harry said dryly, "Your plan is to run for the rest of your life?"

"No," Ron said indignantly, "There's a hole just north of the Ministry's telephone booth entrance."

"Gosh Ron," Harry looked at his friend, with a hint of annoyance in his eyes, "Don't you get it, you can't just take your life like that, don't you know what that would do? Don't you remember what happened 5 years ago? It was bad enough when George died, and then that last curse hit Hermione and, well, you know. Can you even think of what would happen to your mum if you did that?" Harry shook his head and let out a sob the memories violently returned.

Ron began weeping too. The memories of Hermione's death and her funeral, and his brother's memorial service flooded back to him. (Yes George had had a memorial service, everyone knew he would have wanted that, and besides, George's body had never been found, but a witness had seen him killed.) Then with a jolt he ran off again. Harry, using his brain this time, simply apparated to the hole he knew Ron was talking about.

When he got there Harry sat down and waited with a look of boredom mixed with longing to be beside Ginny on his face. When Ron finally got to the hole it was his turn to be panting and out of breath, his long red hair sweeping his brow, then sticking lightly because of the sweat covering his face.

"Harry," he yelled, "You can't stop me. I'm going to jump, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"But…but…" Harry searched his mind for a reason, "Just think of…of….ummm…."

"See Harry, it's just not worth it."

"Just think of," Harry said, the words flowing easily into his mind, "What about your mum, your dad, Ginny, Fred, Bill, Charlie, Percy..well maybe not Percy, and me. We can't live without you Ron. We just cant, please." Harry whispered the last words with anguish on his face. "You can't just leave us all, not after all we've been through."

"It's to late, Harry, to late." Ron said faintly, "Say goodbye to everyone for me." And with that Ron backed away from Harry and whispered "I have decided" as he jumped down.

"NOOOOOOO," Harry yelled, "RONNNNNN!" and without a second thought Harry jumped down the hole after him.

"What are you doing?" Ron asked incredulously.

"Saving your life." Harry shot back.

"You dolt!" Ron yelled, "How in the world can you save me if your stuck falling down this hole with me?"

"Erm..umm..well," Harry started, "I hadn't exactly thought of that yet, but we'll get you out of here, I'll find a way."

"Don't you get it?" Ron asked, "I just want to be with Mione"

"But," said Harry, "Hermione's not in this hole."

"ARGH" Ron yelled in frustration.

"Uhh, Ron," Harry said, "Do you by any chance have a strange feeling in your stomach?"

"No," Ron said cautiously, "Why?"

"Because…I'm feeling….a….bit…."Harry clutched his stomach.


	3. Day 1 and 2

Note-In case you haven't figuared it out yet, I do not own any of the Charries.

Day 1/Day 2

Ron flailed his arms in desperate attempts to get away from Harry's mouth, but it was no use. Harry upchucked and Ron was splashed with the horrible substance.

"Ewwwww," Ron screamed in disgust.

"Oops," said Harry flatly, "Sorry bout that." But he couldn't suppress a grin of slight evilness.

"You prat." Ron screamed.

"Well," Harry said, desperately trying to change the subject, "How do you suppose we get out of this hole?"

"Didn't we discuss this?" Ron asked.

"Umm," Harry pondered, "No."

"Y-yes we did," Ron said turning his head away so that his emotions would not be discovered.

"Oh yeah," Harry said, "And when was that?"

"When was what," Ron asked in a high-pitched voice.

"Do you even remember what we've been talking about?" Harry asked in disbelief.

"Umm, no?"

"Are you lying?" Harry asked slyly

"Y-uh-erm-uh no, no I am definitely not lying." Ron answered

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Are you positive?"

"Yes Harry, I'm, uhhh, positive"

Harry drew in a sharp breath, "Your pregnant?"

"WHAT?" Ron asked, "Where the bloody hell did you get that?"

"Uhhh," Harry thought, "Look, we're in a hole!"

"And you just realized this?" Ron asked pointedly.

"Of course," Harry lied through his teeth, "Didn't you?"

"No Harry I didn't realize we were falling down this hole" Ron said his voice overflowing with sarcasm.

"You didn't?" Harry asked.

Ron glared at Harry, "Let me explain to you this little thing we call sarcasm."

Harry waited, but Ron didn't go on."Well…"said Harry.

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to explain?"

"ARRRRRRRRRG!" Ron yelled, "You know, never mind, I'm going to bed."

"How will you do that?"

"LIKE THIS" Ron screeched. He confusedly looked around for a place to sleep, then, finding none, curled up in a little ball.

**xxx**

Ron awoke with a sudden jolt, and realized someone was shaking him.

"Mum," he said, "Cut it out, I don't wanna go to school!"

"What," asked a confused voice, "Ron, what are you talking about?"

Ron's vision came into focus, and his eyes cleared. He saw a concerned Harry looking at him.

"Well," Ron started, "What do you want, and did you have to wake me up at this ghastly hour?"

"It's twelve in the afternoon." Harry said displaying his muggle watch.

"Exactly, why so early?"

"Ron," Harry said, and looked down at his feet, "I have a problem….."

"What kind of problem?" Ron asked.

"Ummmm….." Harry started, "A big problem."

"Come on, you can tell me, it can't be that bad."

"Well, actually," Harry said his face turning beet red, "It can be."


	4. Day 2

Day 2

Ron stared at Harry with confusion etched on his face. "JUST TELL ME!" Ron screamed, his face becoming demented with frustration and anoyance.

"Well..." Harry started his voice thinning to a whisper. He leaned it towards ron and whispered, "I-have-to-use-the-bathroom..."

"Then go!" Ron said matter of factly.

"Do-you-see-a-toilet-around-here?" Harry asked his face going red from frustration and bladder being so ful...

"Use a tree!" said Ron indignatly.

"WHAT TREE?" Harry screached bending over with the offort of not wetting his pants.

"This tree!" Ron flicked out his wand. "ACIO TREE!"

-xxx-

A large muggle was passing by a hole. He looked down seeing a flash of color. cautiously he slowly backed away, as though the gound would cloaps under his feet at any moment. Suddenly a tree wizzed over his head and flew down the hole. He watched it go with a scared look streatched over his fat face. An eqally fat woman walkedup to him her five chins wobling under her fat face.

"What's wrong my presius duddy-kins?" Asked the woman as though taking to a baby. "Does the mean hole scare you?"

"No aunty Marge, I just-uh-uh-erm...HEY LOOK THERES YOUR DOG! Now we can go home!" He said cuatiously. She grabbed his fat arm with her own and marched him away from the hole, muttering curses at it. (I always knew Marge was no right in the head)

-xxx-

"Thanks Ron!" said Harry in relief grabbing the tree. "erm, now can you uh turn around for a second?" He asked twiddling his finger around signaling for Ron to turn.

"Ok, but when your done, I'll need to borrow it for a fue..." said Ron his face going red. Harry nodded and Ron turned and waited for Harry to be done with his business.

-xxx-

"Ok Ron, now that your done...erm, what do we do with the tree?" Harry asked.

"Um, I think we should just drop it." said Ron looking down past there feet into darkness.

"OK!" said Harry. Ron let go of the tree and looked at Harry. They floted in silence for a while untill Harry seemed to have a thought. "Ron," he said, "Don't you think it's weird that we haven't screamed or been scared once? I mean think about, if a normal person fell down a hole, on purpose or not, they would scream."

"Yeah, but we're not normal." Ron said.

"So...your point is?" asked Harry.

"What point?"

"The point abou-HEY! Did you just so happen to hear something, maybe a um, yell?" Harry asked.

"No..."said Ron and looked at Harry with an expretion that suggested that Harry was going crazy, "What are you, crazy?"

"Crazy, I was crazy once! they locked me in a closit. There was a dot in the closit. I counted that dot! One. One. One. I died in that closit. They Barried me in a garden. There were flowers in that garden. AAAALLLLL sorts of colors. Red, and yellow, and blue! One tickled my nose...it drove me crazy..." said Harry. Harry paused for a split second and continued."Crazy I was crazy once! They locked me in a room, full of PRETTY PURPLE BUNNYS! I hated those bunnies! they drove me crazy!"

Ron coughed descizing the words "still crazy". Harry stopped immediatly then said"Sorry! I'm bored!"

Ron nodded and said,"Me too...maybe we shoudl play chess?"

Harry looked at Ron as though he were mad. "Do you STILL not get that we're in a HOLE?" Harry asked sarcasticly.

"So, you finnaly found out about sarcasm?" Ron asked sarcasticly and jokingly.

"What's sarcasm?" harry asked.

Ron stared at Harry long and hard. "You know what? Nevermind! You can just go the rest of your life without sarcasm."

"Ok...Now, about the boredom issue..." Harry began. "Maybe we could erm...What do you do in a hole?"

"Don't know, play chess?" Ron asked.

"Didn't I just say that were, um, IN A HOLE?" Harry screamed.

"Yeah, but we summoned a tree right?" asked Ron pointedly. When Harry still looked confused said,"ACIO CHESS BOARD!" A fue seconds passed and as Ron thought it didn't work a chess board zoomed infront of them.

"Nice..." harry paused and looked at the chess board. He grinned evily and stated,"By the way! CHECKMATE!"

"WHAT? WE HAVEN'T EVEN StARED THE GAME!" Shouted Ron. "I think we took away someone elses chess board, oh and look its a stupid muggle board!"

-xxx-

Two old men were stitting in a nice park playing chess. one lifted his arm VERY slowlty and grabbed up his peice. He mooved his arm slowly and placed the peice down.

"Check-mate!" He said in a slow crackly voice. The board suddenly zoomed away, leaving the table empty. "Look-there-goes-the-board!"

"We should go tell someone about our flying chess bopard, we'll be rich!" said the younger old man. The other nodded slowly and both got up slowly got up. They finnaly reached a young lady and said,"Miss, our board just flew away."

She nodded looking at the old men with a soft look apon her young features. "Oh ok, now do you happen to have the number of your docters?" she asked.

-xxx-

"Let's send it back!" said Harry. He took out his wand and waved it. The board dissapeared. hary waved his wand for a second time and a new chess board apeared,"You o first, to see if it works." said Harry

Ron obayed and said,"Pawn to e4" it moved obediently. Ron grinned and they played untill Ron shouted,"CHECKMATE!"

Harry frowned and said,"I liked the muggle chess board better, it won for me..."

-xxx-

the two old men walked bakc over to there table and waited for a second, the older one was watching were the board had disapeared. "LOOK!" He said slowly pointing to a small dot that was growing larger and larger, untill a shape of a chess board was descovored. it halted on the table, the peices swaying, then sitting still. The older man grinned toothlessly and said,"CHECK-MATE!"


	5. Day 3

Ron heard a snor come from beside him and jurked awake. He looked around confusedly, not knowing where he was, then remembered the lest two days that had gone by, some hours slow, some going really fast. Ron felt a growl in his stomach, but ignored his hunger. Harry woke suddenly his face apil. obviusly he had been having a bad dream. However, Ron didn't think much of this, both of them had had many bad dreams in the past and still, obviusly, had them.

Harry looked over at Ron and said, "Ron, I need to go again..." he went a bit pink, but Ron suddenly relized how full his own bladder was. Ron nodded thoughtfuly and grabbed up his wand.

"ACIO TREE!" he said, they waited, looking down.

"OUCH!" shouted Harry. Ron looked over at him and laughed as what apeared to be a long twig apon Harry's head. He began laughing histaricly. Hary scouled at him evily and said,"Well...that was a feild day for my head!" Ron began to laugh so hard he almost wet himself, then the relization of how full his bladder was came back and he stoped, blushing red. They threw the "tree" down the hole.

"Well...that didnt go all to well and i _still_ have a full bladder..." said Ron. He looked at Harry and saw an eyebrow raze, almost confusedly.

"Ron...did you just head something...again..." He asked looking down the dark hole. Ron shook his head then, yet again, felt himself amost wet himself.

He quickly razed his wand and said,"ACIO PEED ON TREE!" they waited looking down again. Then suddenly he felt a heavy something hit the top of his head. "OUCH!" he yelled then felt the presure go away. He lifted his aching head and looked at Harry who was holding a tree. Suddenly Harry dropped it looking descusted. "What?" Ron asked

"THAT WASN'T OUR PEE!" Harry yelled and Ron looked at Harry's now wet hands. then felt something role down his neck. He felt it and looked at Harry descused then Harry screatched, "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Ron turned from Harry and placed his hands on the hole wall trying to rid his hands of the wet substance. He heard Harry doing to same behind him then Harry asked,"Ron, I hate to ask...again...but did you just hear something?" Ron shook his head for the third time and turned back to Harry.

Ron was about to grab up his wand and relized it wasnt in his pocket,"Where did my wand go?" Ron asked panicking. Harry pointed infront of Ron and He saw it floating in mid air.

He was about to grab it when Harry yelled,"RON YOUR HANDS!" He looked down only to descuvor that his hands were muddy and covored in spiders. He yelled shaking his hand vigorusly and got spiders all over himself and Harry. Together they began freaking out. "ONE'S GOING UP MY SHIRT!" Harry yelled. Ron flicked his finger ridding himself of spiders then turned to Harry who was covored in even larger spiders. He grebbed his wand and struggled to remember a spell that Harry had used once in there second year to ward off giant spiders.

"Uh...uh..." He thought then stopped hearing Harry yell "OUCH!" Ron shook his head still trying to remember. Then it came to him. "ARONIA EXAME"(sorry for those who have the book and know the correct speeling, but I do my best here...) The spiders fell. then Harry said,"Thanks...erm...did you just hear something?" Ron, agian, shook his head. Then wondered if Harry really _was_ going mad.

"So, how about that tree?" asked Ron razinfg his wand, AGIAN, and shouting,"ACIO TREE THAT HARRY AND I PEED ON!" The boys waited but this time looked up just in case one came soring down, agian, but they both yelled as the "colapsed" and looked down."Ok, good...we have our tree, but now my feet hurt...good thing we don't have to stand!" They used the tree and Ron said,"Should we throw it down again?" Harry nodded and Ron threw it down.

"Ron...did you just hear something...?" Harry asked again, this time sounding bored of the question. Ron, AGAIN, nodded "no". "Well then...I'm hungry!" Ron realized with a suddon growl of his stumach that he was hungry also. "How do you suppose we could get food?" Ron shrugged. They sat in silence and waited with growling stomach, begging for food to enter.

* * *

note: Harry and Ron are being stupid in this so if you critisize about using wands for food dont ruen there stupididty 


End file.
